Midred Burns was in her office at the Town Hall of East Endover, MA. She has been watching the news of latest Delta variant new cases and had been checking the data of her own community. People were not getting vaccinated.

“And when I drive through the center of town on my way,” she said in shock, “I see a lot of people not wearing masks, not keeping a six foot distance, and laughing and talking without a care in the world.” She sat back in her chair in a huff of exasperation as she recalled the lack of care.

“And then I was sitting at home watching CNN and the horror stories of the ravages of the virus, and I had to change the station,” she said as she recounted her story, “and I flashed across commercial for Joel Osteen’s Inspiration Cube. And I was inspired.”

What had happened, she explained, was that she remembered bible stories from when she was in church as a child. She recalled how Jesus had healed the lepers. “But more importantly,” she explained, “the lepers had to announce their proximity by shouting “unclean, unclean” so others would know they were lepers.

How did this memory inspire her you ask?

“The data has shown that unvaccinated people are contagious,” she began to explain. “The virus clings to them. Think of it this way. Black mold releases spores and it is these spores that people breathe in that makes them sick.”

I asked her to further explain.

“The unvaccinated release the virus like spores from black mold. This is what is causing the Delta variant spikes. The unvaccinated,” she spit the word as vile as poison, “need to be isolated and declare the unvaccinated status.

“This was my inspiration for my latest town ordinance, that all unvaccinated must shout “unvaccinated, unvaccinated” whenever and wherever they are in proximity of vaccinated people. When they enter a store or any other public establishment. Also, they will not be allowed to dine in restaurants due to their uncleanness,” she added with barely suppressed glee.